Trust

Sometimes I bet God is looking at me thinking, "Deva, when will you get it? When will you see how much I love you and how MY ways are so much better than your ways?". I've been working through some things lately, and yesterday God chose to remind me that He has a plan and a purpose for my life and that I can make plans and preparations, but that He is in control. And that He uses EVERYTHING for good...so let me re-cap the past 24 hours:

I went to bed on Wednesday night feeling like poo. Seriously, like poo. Wasn't sure if I was going to work on Thursday. Woke up Thursday morning and still considered calling in sick. Then I got a text message from my assistant saying her daughter was sick and she wasn't coming in - so I sucked it up and got up to go to work. Fast forward through a long day of work - made even longer by a meeting after work until 7. Gideon's sitter sent me a message while at work to say her 3 kids are sick, so now I need to find a back up for Friday...did I mention the only other person that we have to watch him during the day just had surgery? Ok, so I guess I will take a sick day on Friday and stay home with him (pretty glad I didn't call in on Thursday now!). Business meeting scheduled for every Thursday night - the sitter had a last minute scheduling conflict, so looks like I will have to miss the meeting. [Note to self - increase sitter list :) ].

So I walk in the door, Babe hands me Gideon and kisses me and walks out. Hi Babe, bye Babe - we haven't seen each other all day...I get Gideon bathed and in his pjs and am settling in to read him a bedtime story when my phone rings. I don't answer it. Then I hear that I have a text message. Thinking it must be Babe, I get up to check. Missed call from Maria. Text from Maria. Text reads, "oh the baby". Now I should mention to you that my good friend Maria is uber pregnant. She had wanted a home birth, but that hadn't worked out for various reasons, but she and I had talked and talked about birthing options and interventions during her pregnancy. Now she wasn't due quite yet, so I was confused when I got this message. Maybe she is coming early?? So I immediately call Maria back. She answers the phone and calmly informs me that she has just given birth to her daughter. At.Home. In.the.bathtub. Unassisted!!! Girl, you rock!

Her husband is there and gets on the phone - we go over checking the placenta and cutting the cord. Baby is fine, Mama is fine. In fact, Baby is already nursing :)  We talk for a few more minutes. Maria is going to take a shower and lie down.

I pack up Gideon (in his jammies), grab whats left of my birthing kit and head over to Maria's. I call my midwife and tell her what happened...we laugh about home birth and how birth just happens. Looks like Maria got the birth she wanted after all!

When I get to Maria's, the house is filled with the sounds of laughter and the smell of food cooking. A family friend had come and started some soup  and was cleaning up the kitchen. Folding laundry. Caring for Maria's older daughters. This is what birth should be!

Maria and Baby are lying on her bed, nursing. All is well and peaceful. I give Maria my after-birthing supplies and she walks into the bathroom. Dad is beaming and about to POP out of his skin. He heads off to the store to buy some things that Maria and the baby will need. Maria rests and eats and nurses. Gideon and the girls play in the other room - shouldn't they all be sleeping! But I guess they can feel the oxytocin in the room, because they keep coming in and laughing and playing in the bedroom. Big sisters hold their newborn sister. Love is born and is growing stronger by the second. Everyone is clean and warm and fed. Time for everyone to go to bed...

When I got home after midnight, all I could think about was - how great is our God? And how wonderful He has made us. Of course He knew Maria was giving birth last night. And He knew she wasn't going to make to the hospital. And everything that had looked like it was going wrong in my life, was orchestrated so that I could be available to Maria to help her.

Life is fleeting. Life is fragile. We try so hard to control and plan and prepare. Last night God whispered to me, "I got this Deva. I am in control. I will give you more, exceedingly and abundantly more than you could EVER dream of if you'll just TRUST me."

I'm trusting God. In the easy and the hard. In places that I understand and the ones that I don't. He doesn't promise me that I will always understand, He just promises to provide.

Ephesians 3:20-21

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²⁰Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--    ²¹To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it).