What a Week!

What an eventful week! My baby is 3 months old - so hard to believe...seriously where does the time go? I can't believe that he's already 3 months old. But at the same time, I can't even remember life before him. Time is funny that way - how does it manage to feel so quick and yet so eternal all at the same time?

3 months old!!

I am so thrilled to announce that we finally beat that awful thrush we have been battling for a month! YAY!!! No more purplicious ;o) After it got into my milk ducts, we had no choice but to get an oral anti-fungal and treat ourselves for two weeks. PTL, between that and the prescription cream they gave me, we are finally symptom free and happily (and pain-freely) nursing again. Because of all of this, we did have to find a new doctor.  I had seen a GP at a family practice here in town and we didn't really see eye-to-eye, but since I don't get sick very often I hadn't ever gotten around to finding a new one. But after making an appt to see her about the thrush and her misdiagnosing me AND arguing with me and telling me that I didn't know what I was talking about (which I did), I went in search of a new GP. Oh, and I am writing her a letter citing her ignorance and sending it to her with documentation of my actual diagnosis.

So, Monday, G and I packed up and and went to the new family practice and had our first "well" visit. I say that because apparently you have to go to the doctor and pay them a copay to get established so that when you get sick you can go and pay them again! Anyway...Mama is in excellent health - I've lost 17 pounds (in addition to losing all the baby weight)!!! YAY for breastfeeding!!!! Looks like a shopping trip is in my near future as all of my pants are swimming on me now :o). Gideon is super healthy too - not that I am the least bit surprised! He is a little over 26 in and weighs about 15 lbs. The doctor and nurses were so impressed with his "amazing motor skills" and "advanced head control". Must be Mama's vitamins!



26 inches of perfection!!!



I went back to work this week, which was seriously THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!! Honestly, I don't know how people do it. I'm so glad that Babe and I have an amazing business opportunity that will afford me the ability to stay home soon. That is seriously the only thing that gets me through the work day - knowing it is only temporary. I have to say, I couldn't have made it through my last day home and my first day back without the wonderful advice and encouragment of my dear friends and family. It is such a blessing to receive wise counsel...Looking forward to that day that Babe brings me home and L is holding our sweet boys with their Free Mama t-shirts!! That dream is so real and tangible to me... and I just am so driven to make that a reality for not just me, but other mamas that want it too.

QT with Daddy in my Ergo

In the meantime, G is so blessed to be able to stay home with Daddy part time and stay with Miss Karen part time. We couldn't ask for a better, more loving sitter!!! God is so faithful and He really watches over us so well. When I came home Thursday, Babe had cleaned the entire house and started dinner (major points for my thoughtful Babe!!). He passed out on the floor not long after I got home - he seems to have a whole new appreciation for SAHMs now! And Friday, G went to Miss Karen's and had a blast! Not to brag about my amazing son, but she said he was "delightful", "never fussy, so happy", "so aware and curious" and all around "a great baby to keep"!! That sure makes a mama proud :o)

Looks like G wore Daddy out!!!

One thing that going back to work has forced me to become is much more disciplined. I have made a weekly meal plan and a chore chart. It is keeping Babe and me on task with all the little things so that they don't pile up on us! It's so far from my personality type, but so far it is really working out for the three of us and it gives me the optimal amount of time with my boys <3

~Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Trust also in Him, and He will bring it to pass.~ Ps 37:4-5

Temporary is Too Long

My sweet baby boy is finally sleeping. I guess it's partly my fault, since we weren't home during his nap time this afternoon...of course now, he'll be up all night! Oh the joys :o) I don't mind - with the day of my return to work looming on the horizon (one week!!), I treasure every single second EVEN MORE. Somehow I have managed to block going back to work out of my mind all these past weeks, but now it sneaks into my mind, bringing on quick tears and a knife-like pain in my heart. Babe tries to be encouraging by saying, "it's only temporary" and "you'll get through this". I don't know how to tell him that he's missing the point...Of course it's only temporary - but even temporary is TOO long. And of course I'll get through this - short of hiding in my room and rocking, I have no choice but to "get through". But I don't want to!!! What if I miss something? He is rolling over all the time now and just discovered his feet! What if he does something cute and I don't see it? He's just started really laughing and it is the most beautiful sound on Earth. What if he's hurt/scared/sad/hungry/sleepy and I'm not there to comfort him? Will he wonder why I'm not there? Will his little heart hurt because Mama isn't there to make it all better? And yes, I know what you are thinking. He's going to be in excellent hands both with Babe and with his sitter. But they aren't ME. And here's another scary thought - what if he's just fine??? What if he doesn't miss me/need me? I rationally understand that most mamas feel fears similar to these when faced with going back to work and survive, but I'm not feeling so rational right this minute. Oh, I need another tissue....