Everything I Need to Know in Life, I Learned My First Year as a Mama

As 2011 draws to a close, I thought it fitting to reflect on this past year - the ups and downs and what I have learned. This year has certainly been an eventful one. And while not everyone would consider my life "exciting", I can assure you, it is far from dull! Anyone that knows me, knows that I am passionate and can be outspoken. I hope that this year I have learned to give more grace, to be intentional, and to love unconditionally. Here is what my precious son and being his mama has taught me:

1. Sleep solves almost every "crisis". Even if it doesn't solve it, it helps you deal with the situation better.

2. Priorities change, and that is actually healthy. Filter all your decisions through your priorities to have a happy life.

3. The people in your life may change, or at least their significance in your life at any given moment. Family is made up of people that you love and that love you, regardless of how long you've known them or actual relation.

4. Somethings CAN wait (laundry, dishes, facebook, showering, peeing, etc), while others can't (throw up, a crying baby, a blow out poop, watching your baby sleep, playing peek-a-boo, telling someone that you love them).

5. All of us are doing the best that we can with what we have. We all want to be better (I hope!).

6. Joy is not found in things, but in moments, smiles, hugs and memories.

7. Defeat is not in failing, but in giving up or never trying in the first place. Falling down is inevitable, but getting back up again is a choice.

8. There is no "normal"! Don't judge yourself by other people or their standards. Determine what you believe in and then remain committed to that.

9. Find what you are good at and sell out to that.

10. You can never say "I love you" too much. You can never tell someone enough how important they are. But never stop trying...

11. Everything is temporary. Good and bad, it all changes. Just when you think you've got it all figured out, here comes another curve ball!

12. Be flexible. Be spontaneous.

13. You are stronger and more capable than you realize. Stretch yourself to see what your limits truly are. Never sell yourself short.

14. LAUGH. And then laugh more. Happiness is remembered like a glow that surrounds you.

15. Set limits. And then stick to them. Even when it hurts.

16. Be intentional. Have a purpose in all that you do.

17. Give grace. Every person you meet is fighting a battle. We are all doing the best that we can and until you've walked a year in some one's sleep-deprived, post-partum, separation-anxiety, guilt-riddled (at times) shoes, you have no right to judge them. Maybe you would do things differently - you'll have your chance.

18. Acceptance and sensitivity will get you much farther in life than beating someone over the head with your opinions. Unsolicited advice is criticism.

19. Having a schedule (that is flexible) is vital. Try to stay on track, but let it go if things need to change.

20. Always keep a snack, some tissues and a toy in your purse. You never know when any of this will come in handy (and not just for your baby!). Basically, be prepared. ALL.THE.TIME. For anything!

21. When you're stressed, it rubs off on others. Take time to take care of you so that you have more to give.

22. Never let someone make you feel inferior or embarrassed of your decisions. If you believe in what you are doing - say so! Just because "everyone" does things one way, doesn't make it right or best. It is impossible to please everyone all the time, so stop trying and do what you know in your heart is right for you.

23. Sharing can be hard. But you have to.

24. Be fearless. Be bold. Try something new. You never know what you will like or what works if you don't try.

25. God is in EVERYTHING. Especially the little things. If you don't see that, I can't relate to you.

26. God uses the least of us to teach us the biggest lessons. No one and nothing is too small to matter.

27. Let go. Trust yourself. Trust God, He'll be up all night anyway.

28. Always act, never react. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and count to 5 before responding in anger. Chances are, you will regret it later and then it's too late. Words wound deeper than weapons. They also heal and uplift. Use them wisely.

29. You will miss this one day. So stop wishing it away - good or bad. Enjoy ALL the moments of your life. Even the trials. They form you into the person you are destined to be.

30. Love is an action word. It is doing, saying, feeling, showing, staying, hugging, working, growing, trying, overcoming. It is constant - in good times and bad. It is present. It is consuming. It is beautiful. It is important.

I once heard a quote about being a mother that said being a mother was like having your heart walk around outside of your body. I thought I understood that before Gideon was born. Now, I fully comprehend it. With every great blessing comes great responsibility. I thank God everyday for the blessing He has given me and pray for guidance to fulfill my responsibility.

Happy New Year! May 2012 be blessed!

6 Months

Little G-unit is 6 months old today! WOW...how did THAT happen? He is growing like crazy - he has doubled his birth weight and is weighing in around 18 pounds and seems to be hitting another growth spurt in the past few days.

Last month he started sitting up really well by himself, scooting, and feeding himself. Two days ago he figured out how to pull himself up to stand and he just thinks he is so funny! He has progressed from what I like to call the "army crawl" (think wounded soldier), to the "inchworm". Any second now I fully expect to see him just take off and zoom around the house! We have chosen to follow Baby Led Weaning (BLW) with Gideon and he is taking off with it! The premise of this method is that you introduce "solid" solids to a baby instead of beginning with purees and progressing to foods with more texture. And, babies must feed themselves, not be spoon-fed.  Basically, G eats whatever I am eating. This is such a fun endeavor! So far his favorite foods are steak (cooked medium), BACON!!, pickles, and sweet potatoes. He has also tried and enjoyed granny smith apple, cheese, tomato, shrimp, black beans, broccoli, watermelon and poached egg.

(I will add pics soon!!)

Gideon finally cut his first tooth! It came quietly and without a fuss. And now his other bottom tooth feels like it will be popping in any day now. What a big boy!

There is so much more that we have been up to, but I will have to work backwards to post all of it - be looking for a Mother's Day recap, funny videos and my mother of the year moment!!!

Seriously, it's almost MAY!?!?

Wow! Where does the time go? It just seems to slip by like water through my fingers...

Gideon is a little over 5 months now and increasingly mobile! While this is exciting, it is also a little scary. Time to baby-proof the house, move everything out of reach and try to vacuum the floor a little more often. G-man is sitting up totally unassited now, reaches for things with both hands and can switch his toys from hand to hand, is very interested in food (more on that in another post!), and has begun "inchworming" around the floor. He gets up on his hands and knees and rocks, but hasn't quite figured out how to manuever that way, so he drags his body around by his arms, while schooching (is that a word??) his little bottom up in the air and then pushing off the floor with his toes.



Uncle Jason



We have had some visitors in the Millward household in the last month or so. If I'd had the time to post more recently after said visits, I would probably have lots of witty stories to tell, but as it is I will just post a pic or two. My brother and his family flew in from CA and stayed with us for about a week and my mom and sister and her husband camped out in our living room while they were here. Gideon didn't know what to do with all the attention!



Cousins



Before that, Babe's mom and sister came down to visit again and of course, Aunt Erin came bearing gifts :o). We had a great time with them as well, and will probably be planning a trip to OH for some point in the summer.

This past weekend was Easter and Gideon was all decked out in plaid shorts, a white polo and a yellow sweater vest. And of course I didn't get a picture of his cuteness...oh well, luckily for us he is cute all the time so I will just post a random picture of him! Thanks to a recent shopping trip and the generosity of a few friends, G is all decked out and set for summer! He has his sunglasses, a swimsuit and lots of uber-cute clothes. Who said only little girl clothes were cute? (ps, I think I might've said that at one point, but honestly, the boys clothes have really come a long way!).

Gideon's new obsession is his ERGO and he wants to be in it most of the time. In fact, he is asleep in it as I type this (how else did you think I had time and two free hands to post??). Not sure if it's the changing weather, teething or just his age, but he has been miserable if I am not holding him or he can't see me...as much as I love being loved, it is difficult to get anything done when he demands my undivided attention. I intend to enjoy it though, as I am sure there will be a time in the not to distant future when I will miss him enjoying my company so much!

I did what?!?

Is it seriously April 2nd??? Where does the time go...

Well, before I jump into catching up on life in the Millward household, here's a funny story from last night that basically sums up my life these days:

Babe had the day off, so it was a Daddy and Gideon day. While Gideon was fully dressed and matching today (quite a feat for Babe!), he had managed to get spit up and poop on his onesie and Babe left him in it all day because he'd "wiped most of it off". *eye roll* (mine not Babe's). So as soon as I got my hands on G, I changed him, nursed and off to town the 3 of us go. We ran some errands together and before you know it, it's almost 8 and we are all starving and I'm too tired to fix supper, so Rancho for some quesadillas it is! Because I am so famished, and I know G will want to eat as soon as I get food, I decide to nurse him before we go into the restaurant. Only he's more interested in EVERYTHING else going on around him. Oh well, into Rancho we go - hopefully I will get to eat while my food is still remotely warm :o)

Praise be to the Lord, G is content to sit in his seat and play with a toy while I scarf down my food. With one bite to go, he is done sitting and is ready to be held...so into my arms he comes and instant happiness! He plays happily at the table while Babe finishes his meal and then we head home. G falls asleep in the car, so I jump in the tub to take a bath when we get home because sore doesn't even begin to describe how I feel at the end of the day. When he wakes up, he and Babe dance around the house, waiting for Gideon's turn in the tub. Meanwhile, I had fallen asleep in the tub! Holy moly, I need a nap!

Out I come and in goes Gideon. Then we nurse and he falls asleep (me too - almost). I go to put him down and he wakes up! He is teething and is a little congested so getting him to sleep these past few days has been more challenging. So tired I can't even function, I take G to Babe and announce that I am going to bed. Now the next thing I remember is waking up this morning (I mean I vaguely remember waking several times during the night to nurse too) to Babe's alarm - which never seems to wake him oddly enough! Babe falls back asleep but G rouses and we nurse again (picking up on a pattern?? LOL). The next thing I know it's 8:30. Thank you Gideon for letting me sleep in! So we get up and begin our day...I call Babe to say hey and I ask him "what time did you and Gideon come to bad last night?" To which he replies "I didn't bring Gideon to bed. Don't you remember getting up and taking him from me? He was fussy and it woke you up. You took him from me and starting nursing him, STANDING up in the living room!!" Wow, nope I don't recall that at all...hahahahaha

And to wrap it all up, the only reason I have a few minutes to play catch up is because I just nursed him to sleep! I would not change a thing though :o) I love my little milk man <3

What a Week!

What an eventful week! My baby is 3 months old - so hard to believe...seriously where does the time go? I can't believe that he's already 3 months old. But at the same time, I can't even remember life before him. Time is funny that way - how does it manage to feel so quick and yet so eternal all at the same time?

3 months old!!

I am so thrilled to announce that we finally beat that awful thrush we have been battling for a month! YAY!!! No more purplicious ;o) After it got into my milk ducts, we had no choice but to get an oral anti-fungal and treat ourselves for two weeks. PTL, between that and the prescription cream they gave me, we are finally symptom free and happily (and pain-freely) nursing again. Because of all of this, we did have to find a new doctor.  I had seen a GP at a family practice here in town and we didn't really see eye-to-eye, but since I don't get sick very often I hadn't ever gotten around to finding a new one. But after making an appt to see her about the thrush and her misdiagnosing me AND arguing with me and telling me that I didn't know what I was talking about (which I did), I went in search of a new GP. Oh, and I am writing her a letter citing her ignorance and sending it to her with documentation of my actual diagnosis.

So, Monday, G and I packed up and and went to the new family practice and had our first "well" visit. I say that because apparently you have to go to the doctor and pay them a copay to get established so that when you get sick you can go and pay them again! Anyway...Mama is in excellent health - I've lost 17 pounds (in addition to losing all the baby weight)!!! YAY for breastfeeding!!!! Looks like a shopping trip is in my near future as all of my pants are swimming on me now :o). Gideon is super healthy too - not that I am the least bit surprised! He is a little over 26 in and weighs about 15 lbs. The doctor and nurses were so impressed with his "amazing motor skills" and "advanced head control". Must be Mama's vitamins!



26 inches of perfection!!!



I went back to work this week, which was seriously THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!! Honestly, I don't know how people do it. I'm so glad that Babe and I have an amazing business opportunity that will afford me the ability to stay home soon. That is seriously the only thing that gets me through the work day - knowing it is only temporary. I have to say, I couldn't have made it through my last day home and my first day back without the wonderful advice and encouragment of my dear friends and family. It is such a blessing to receive wise counsel...Looking forward to that day that Babe brings me home and L is holding our sweet boys with their Free Mama t-shirts!! That dream is so real and tangible to me... and I just am so driven to make that a reality for not just me, but other mamas that want it too.

QT with Daddy in my Ergo

In the meantime, G is so blessed to be able to stay home with Daddy part time and stay with Miss Karen part time. We couldn't ask for a better, more loving sitter!!! God is so faithful and He really watches over us so well. When I came home Thursday, Babe had cleaned the entire house and started dinner (major points for my thoughtful Babe!!). He passed out on the floor not long after I got home - he seems to have a whole new appreciation for SAHMs now! And Friday, G went to Miss Karen's and had a blast! Not to brag about my amazing son, but she said he was "delightful", "never fussy, so happy", "so aware and curious" and all around "a great baby to keep"!! That sure makes a mama proud :o)

Looks like G wore Daddy out!!!

One thing that going back to work has forced me to become is much more disciplined. I have made a weekly meal plan and a chore chart. It is keeping Babe and me on task with all the little things so that they don't pile up on us! It's so far from my personality type, but so far it is really working out for the three of us and it gives me the optimal amount of time with my boys <3

~Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Trust also in Him, and He will bring it to pass.~ Ps 37:4-5

Temporary is Too Long

My sweet baby boy is finally sleeping. I guess it's partly my fault, since we weren't home during his nap time this afternoon...of course now, he'll be up all night! Oh the joys :o) I don't mind - with the day of my return to work looming on the horizon (one week!!), I treasure every single second EVEN MORE. Somehow I have managed to block going back to work out of my mind all these past weeks, but now it sneaks into my mind, bringing on quick tears and a knife-like pain in my heart. Babe tries to be encouraging by saying, "it's only temporary" and "you'll get through this". I don't know how to tell him that he's missing the point...Of course it's only temporary - but even temporary is TOO long. And of course I'll get through this - short of hiding in my room and rocking, I have no choice but to "get through". But I don't want to!!! What if I miss something? He is rolling over all the time now and just discovered his feet! What if he does something cute and I don't see it? He's just started really laughing and it is the most beautiful sound on Earth. What if he's hurt/scared/sad/hungry/sleepy and I'm not there to comfort him? Will he wonder why I'm not there? Will his little heart hurt because Mama isn't there to make it all better? And yes, I know what you are thinking. He's going to be in excellent hands both with Babe and with his sitter. But they aren't ME. And here's another scary thought - what if he's just fine??? What if he doesn't miss me/need me? I rationally understand that most mamas feel fears similar to these when faced with going back to work and survive, but I'm not feeling so rational right this minute. Oh, I need another tissue....

So Much to Catch Up On

Oh my goodness! There seems to be so much to catch up on...Since my last post (which was a month ago), Gideon has had quite a few adventures!

What's up everybody??

So let's see, where do we start? I can't even believe that I am able to sit here and type this, because Babe isn't home yet and Gideon is peacefully sleeping in the other room! Which is a first for him - he prefers to sleep on me, and I love the sweet peacefulness of it, so I haven't really tried to get him to sleep alone yet. But today he fell asleep in my arms and I needed to take a shower, so I attempted to put him down and SUCCESS!!! Among his other recently acquired talents, he is now rolling over (from back to belly), reaching for things, babbling and laughing (he actually has begun shouting at one particular toy and this seems to really crack him up!) and sleeping through the night!

Syd and Gid

Remle and Delaney meet G!

Jennifer and Gideon

We took a little road trip and visited some friends and family. Gideon got to meet both of his great-grandmothers! He stayed with his first sitter (and his buddy Christian) while Babe and I were with our business team. And he even hung out with his friend Sydney on a playdate last week. Phew! And the awesome part is that he is a social butterfly and LOVES meeting new people. He is so laid back and chill - we are so blessed.

My sweet boy loves his Mammaw

Call me Purplicious!

Last week, I noticed that G and I had some thrush symptoms, so we treated that for a week and were totally purple! We were good for a few days, but now the thrush is back and we are retreating. Not cool yeast....

We had our first real snow of the season last week as well. Babe wanted to take G out in it (no literally, sit/lay him in the snow) but I vetoed that one. Sorry fellas! We got about 6-8 inches. So pretty. I love the snow and even though I haven't really been out of the house since Gideon was born, I do enjoy a snowfall.

Everyday Miracles

Ok, I know it has been a month since my last post and according to my friend Corri, if I'm going to be a blogger, I need to actually post a blog :o). It's just been such a crazy month...but I will try to play catch up on all our comings and goings tomorrow. I only have a few minutes before my sweet boy needs me and I really want to post this.

Being a mom has changed me in so many ways, I can't even begin to describe it! One significant change is the way I view relationships. More specifically, my relationship with God. I've come to realize that I have taken so much in my life for granted and I've been so busy that I have missed so many details. Like the sheer magnitude and beauty of nature. What a gift to us from our Father! We have just been hit by a snow storm and while I have always thought snow was beautiful, I saw it differently this time. I couldn't help but think about the uncountable number of snowflakes that fall in one storm. And each and every one of them is different and unique! I mean, can you even wrap your mind around that?? Billions upon billions of tiny flakes, and no two alike! What an awesome God!

This train of thought led me to begin thinking about miracles. There are so many miracles in our everyday lives and we just miss them. While pregnant, I was struck by the miracle of life and how we as humans are a miracle. And now watching Gideon accomplish new tasks - something as simple as reaching his hand for a toy or rolling over, I realize how miracluous life truly is. How many times a day do we complete seemingly meaningless tasks without thinking of how amazing it is that we can walk, talk, type or tie our shoes?

The reason most people (myself included) miss so many miracles is because we don't know what to look for. I admit, when I think miracle, I think walking on water, raising the dead or parting the sea. But what about everyday miracles? What about the ability to smile, to laugh, to encourage? Everyday it's a miracle that we wake up, that gravity keeps us from just floating away, that all of our organs work together in harmony to keep us breathing. I could go on and on...

But what about the "big" miracles? Why don't we see them outside of the Old Testament? This reminded me of a verse (and I'll paraphrase) that we have not because we ask not. Our world is framed by our beliefs and expectations. So if I'm not seeing "big" miracles, maybe it's because I'm not believing big enough. If my God can create an infinite number of unique snowflakes, why can't He perform miracles in my life? BECAUSE HE CAN!! Maybe He's just waiting for me to believe big! So Babe and I have decided to just become outrageous. We are not going to not ask anymore!! We are believing our Father will give us the desires of our heart and that He will supply all our needs and that we will live in abundance. What father wouldn't want that for their child?

So, this is just something that I have been thinking about lately. Maybe it's just me, but I think we all need to take the time to appreciate our everyday miracles and then expect and ask for "big" ones too!